Yesterday, I found myself feeling great before I headed off to class. I dared to take class without having had any soda. I always go to a 9:00 am class having had one coke. But yesterday I wandered in feeling like I didn’t need that coke. I felt great! My head was clear. I felt strong.
By savassanah all I was doing was dreaming of coke. The craving kicked in, and the brain fog rolled in with it. The entire floor series was a giant struggle. I wanted someone to bring me a coke. Right then. Right there. I wanted to drink it in the room. I would wait and do it between postures of course. I’m polite like that.
I got home and got some soda in me and felt a bit better, but then in the afternoon I started to crash. I had already drunk my two allotted sodas for the day. I told myself I was having an emergency and that this justified having a third coke, but I held out. I rode this mess out for about a solid hour before the cravings subsided and my brain quieted down.
This morning, Day 10, I’ve been up for two hours and haven’t had the desire to drink a coke yet. I didn’t even think about it this morning! I just got up and started doing stuff. I juiced (half a cucumber and a granny smith. I’m out of lemons. I need a lemon for the cucumber juice. It was a little too cucumbery this morning, but I drank it anyways). I was cleaning up the kitchen when my eyes landed on an empty coke bottle sitting on the counter. At this point I’d been up for an hour. It was then I realized that drinking coke hadn’t even crossed my mind. The breakthroughs with this process oare phyiscal and mental. I have to retrain my brain not to get up and go for the coke. I have to get it thinking differently about what I drink. It’s working. It’s slow, but I don’t care.
I haven’t decided if I will have a soda before I hit up class this afternoon. Part of me thinks I should just because I’m slowly coming down and having one soda before class might not be a bad idea in terms of withdrawals. The other part of me thinks that if I don’t want it then I should just not have it. We’ll see how much I end up pushing myself in this department.