Why is this vegan challenge so flipping hard? I am so tired of having meals that range from crappy to medicore. Why does this have to be so difficult! AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So maybe you’ve figured out that today was not a good day in the land of the Vegan Challenge. You would be correct. Oh breakfast was fine. Lunch was fine. I had a snack that was fine (SPREAD!). But dinner? Just shoot me already.
Last night’s dinner wasn’t that great, but it was edible. Tonight’s dinner seemed easy enough. I was making lentils and rice with carmelized onions and spiced pita chips from Veganomicon. This is not hard folks. This is put stuff in a pot and pay attention to it. It pretty much takes care of itself. But my rice and lentils? Giant pot of mush.
And I lost it. I snapped right there in the kitchen.
What the heck are we having tonight for dinner? Oh, and I have to make it vegan, but my brain isn’t used to thinking this way so crap! My brain is used to thinking that when I screw up dinner I call in a pizza, but pizza has cheese on it and I don’t want to think about what a vegan pizza would be like at the moment! I don’t know what I’m going to have for dinner. Oh, right. We also decided that the benefit to making lentils and rice for dinner was that there would be leftovers. So what the heck will we be eating tomorrow?
Do you know how badly I wanted to quit this challenge? I just want a decent home cooked meal that is slightly better than medicore that I prepare myself. I cannot pull it off. I am so frustrated I want to scream. I actually cried a little.
Thankfully Mark saved the day. His suggestion? Let’s take a night off. Let’s just take one night off.
“If you could have anything for dinner,” he asked me, “what would it be?”
“Blue cheese” I screamed without even thinking. Oh God. I just want some blue cheese. And yes, I know that blue cheese is not really an answer to the question, “What do you want for dinner?” but close enough.
This is how I ended up at Nosh ordering the Brown Derby Salad. I love the Brown Derby. Used to eat it all the time. When I ordered it I demanded that extra blue cheese come on my salad. For a dressing? Blue cheese! Two sides of it! Oh – and that chocolate cupcake. I’ll also be taking one of those.
When my salad arrived I noticed it had a little surprise – bacon! It had been so long since I ordered this salad I forgot that it came with bacon on it.
Wohoo! Accidental bacon! I totally get to eat that too. And look at all that dressing. Man, I did not screw up on my night off. Mark said I sounded like Homer Simpson every time I celebrated accidental bacon. Check out the coke sitting behind the salad. I am damn good at taking a night off. I also made up a song about my bacon, but I will spare you.
So here’s the thing – at the end of the day I do not feel guilty about this. I do not feel at all bad about having a totally non-vegan meal. I am trying folks. I am trying to adhere to this challenge, and it is very, very hard. Tomorrow I will pony back up and be back with the whole vegan deal. We already figured out what to do for dinner. There should not be any problems. I think a slight break was good.
I also wanted to put all of this out there because I know lots of you also push yourself in a variety of ways, and we all stumble sometimes. This is my stumble. I hit a breaking point today. What matters now is what I do next.
Oh – and for the record I did not go to class to today, but I did 15 backbends at home.