Recently, I had a class….you know….one of THOSE classes. It was the kind that was horrible from nearly start to finish. But it was also necessary.
I could feel myself going down almost right away. Sometimes I just have a horrible initial breathing exercise, and my brain doesn’t want to sign on to do the class. On those days, once I get into it a bit, my brain shuts up, and I continue on with class.
Today was not that kind of a day.
Today, I started going down by awkward. By balancing stick I was popping in and out of postures. By triangle I was totally done with the standing series. Didn’t even get back up for tree. Just sat there and looked at myself in the mirror until it was time for savassanah.
The floor was not much better. I sat up all the postures in spine strengthening, but I didn’t do anything more than set up. By the end I was feeling better. I think I may have sat up once for camel (or rabbit). I didn’t actually do any of those postures, but I did sit up. Points for me!
Anyways, let me get back to my point. This class was not pleasant, but it was necessary. It was exactly what I needed. You see, at that point I was carrying some emotional baggage with me. The night before had been a bit rough. I thought I had let it all go, but I had not. At best, I had simply lost it for awhile.
That baggage found me in the hot room. And it took me down. I was surprised, but I gave in. I let it happen. I moved through the emotions that I needed to experience.
It was not fun.
It was in no way pleasant.
I cried a bit while I was laying on my mat (skipping a posture).
So it was awful, but it was also good, and it was 100% necessary.
I didn’t fight it. I didn’t try to make myself do postures because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I simply did what seemed like the thing to do in the moment – if that makes any sense.
I went with it. I was an awful class, but at the same it was the perfect class. It was exactly what I needed to unload my baggage.