Yesterday was the last day my studio was open. Today, I am headed off to a new studio to give something different a try. It’s still hot yoga, but it’s hot flow (and I have no idea how hot it will be because the website doesn’t say).
Although I had known about my studio closing for a month, it didn’t really hit me until Thursday night. When I went to the 4:30 class on Friday, I was super sad. I spent a lot of time during class thinking about all the things I had experience and gained from coming to this studio.
It’s helpful to keep in mind that this blog has been running for 3.5 years. While I’ve practiced longer than that, I’ve been going to class nearly everyday since starting this blog. So suddenly not having the studio around is a significant change for me.
Anyways, here are some of the things I realized I experienced/learned about myself in the hot room:
- discomfort: I experienced a lot of discomfort, and early on there were numerous times I wanted to quit. yoga was hard. the heat was hard. it was all so very hard.
- a divorce: I went through a divorce and having class to show up to was a lifesaver – especially because at that point in my life I was using the hot room to nap in before class.
- my head on my knee: this studio was the place where I first got my head on my knee in SH2K. a big accomplishment.
- advanced class and competition: this is where I took my first advanced class and trained for two yoga competitions. after my first advanced class I had a giant bruise on my foot.
- met my yoga boyfriend: I met and hung out with my yoga boyfriend at this studio
- this hysterical double
- I split my knees open trying to learn how to do mountain. sometimes they would crack open during a regular Bikram class, and I would bleed on my mat. didn’t care.
- going to class with cracked ribs and bruises after falling off a horse
- yoga buddies
- learning how to breathe
- learning self-acceptance
- learning to not have expectations
- learning patience with myself and others
- minimizing distractions or at least acknowledging them and then letting them go
- class is over – let it go
- that posture is over – let it go
- i have developed greater focus and a clearer mind (relative to me!)
This list could continue on, but I think you get the point. As I lay in a savassana, I realized that this yoga had given so much to me and asked only one thing in return: That I show up.
That’s it folks. All this yoga does is ask that you keep showing up. You don’t have to do all the postures, and when you do them you just do them the best that you can that moment without judgement.
The problem is that I have become emotionally attached to this studio and that room – and I know better. I know it is time to let it go and to let my practice evolve however it is going to evolve. I have no choice, but that doesn’t make it easy.
I will always miss this hot room.