A 10-Point Standing Bow

My biggest news from my trip to San Diego is that I did a magnificent standing bow. I am positive, positive, that if I had done this standing bow in competition it would have received the maximum score of 10 points. Let’s start off by taking a look at some really good standing bows so you can see why I think the one I did in San Diego was so magnificent.

These are beautiful standing bows. Wait until you see mine.

These are beautiful standing bows. Wait until you see mine.

Let’s notice some things about the standing bows in the above picture. Their legs are locked out. They have two feet in one line. They both have their chins to their shoulders. The woman on the right could probably come down farther, but these are beautiful (I think). Ok, everyone’s relatively on board with me, right? We could critique these, but they are good. They’re here to serve as a model for mine.

Now, let’s talk about how I ended up giving¬†my standing bow performance. It was late. I was in a hotel lobby with a friend, and we were goofing around waiting for our friends, who were following in a second taxi, to arrive. When I say we were goofing around, what I mean is we were both talking about yoga postures we wished we could do but couldn’t. As a free service to the hotel, we attempted to explain/demonstrate postures we had no business attempting in the middle of the lobby right in front of the door. We were the evening’s entertainment for awhile.

Well, along wandered a woman we did not know but who could do the postures we were attempting (mine was crow. I don’t recall what my friend was trying to acocmplish).¬† She went right ahead and did them in the lobby – again, only adding to the entertainment value.

Of course, this prompted me to want to start taking pictures, and this is how I ended up performing the best standing bow ever in front of a Christmas tree in a hotel lobby while someone I had met two minutes ago did crow in front of me.

Yoga helps you make friends.

Yoga helps you make friends.

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Leigh, your standing bow looks nothing like the ones in the picture above.” You are, of course, correct. But before you question why this is the best standing bow ever, one worthy of 10 points in a competition, let me point out a few things that are not automatically visible:

1. I had just finished eating a giant mexican dinner that included chicken enchiladas. I know. I ate meat. (add +2 bonus points)

2. I had just eaten an unholy amount of chips, salsa, and guacamole. (add +1 bonus point)

3. My friend (not pictured because I had her taking pictures) and I had split a pitcher of Purple Haze margaritas. I drank purple alcohol. I hardly ever drink anymore. I was not hammered, but I was not sober. On the way back to the hotel, I asked our cab driver to beat the other cab driver back, and apparently he thought I was serious. We won! Yeah! (add + 3 for the drinking)

4. Do you see what I’m wearing? I took my shoes off, but those pants only had so much stretch in them. (add +2 for the clothes)

5. The distractions were unreal. It’s not like in a competition room where everyone is quiet. I’m doing this in front of a Christmas tree with someone performing crow at my feet while someone else is trying to figure out exactly when to take the picture. I was probably talking most of the time I was in this posture. I was situated between the check-in desks and the conceirge. I was directly in front of the main entrance. There was a conference going on with over 1000 people. There were people everywhere, and none of them were being quiet and standing in awe of our great ability to do standing bow and crow. Distractions = bonus points! (add +2 for all the distractions)

I think you’ll see this adds up to be a perfect 10-point standing bow.